1
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:05,437
Max,
what's a five-letter word for "happy"?

2
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:09,341
And it's not my first wife, Helen.

3
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,611
I was gonna suggest "drunk."

4
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,680
Maybe 'cause I am.

5
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,682
Hey, everybody!

6
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:21,553
Hey.

7
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:24,189
Guess what I have under my coat.

8
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,726
And it's not ice cream
sundaes like last time.

9
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,697
It's my baby bump!

10
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,634
Aw, Sophie, you're showing!

11
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,570
And this time,
it's not either of your nipples.

12
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:41,407
Ah, look! Only four months.

13
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:45,177
And I'm already approaching Kardashian.

14
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,613
And that's quoting the doctor.

15
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:48,814
Impressive.

16
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:52,785
You may have a North, South,
East, and West in there.

17
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,621
The baby really kicks.

18
00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,489
So it's either gonna be a soccer player

19
00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,692
or a Los Angeles policeman.

20
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,329
Hey, Han, what do you think

21
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:07,199
of my baby bump, baby bump, baby bump?

22
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:10,636
In my country,
we never comment on two things:

23
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:13,839
women's pregnancies or
Kim Jong-un's haircut.

24
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,793
One tuna malt.

25
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:39,064
That was a tuna melt.

26
00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:43,368
Oh.

27
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,271
Max, here comes Han.

28
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,440
Now remember, we have to be extra nice

29
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,943
so we can get his support
for our new dessert bar.

30
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,211
How can he support us?

31
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:55,080
He can barely support his giant head.

32
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:56,348
See, that's the kind of stuff

33
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,183
you're gonna have to stay away from.

34
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,422
What's this about?

35
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:08,227
Last time you were smiling,
I almost lost an ear.

36
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:11,230
Well,
my Hollywood money has finally arrived,

37
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,165
and as you know, Han, Max and I want to

38
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:16,135
convert the cupcake
window into a dessert bar.

39
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:21,173
And as you know, I want to
convert you two into waitresses.

40
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,742
Come on, Han,
it won't affect the diner at all.

41
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,577
All we want to do is
use the dish room...

42
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:29,781
home of two of the three
original strands of E. coli.

43
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,183
It's a no.

44
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,018
My therapist said this
had to be the year

45
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:37,022
of standing up for myself
and cutting out soda.

46
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:39,892
All right, well go ahead, stand up.

47
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:45,364
But because I would like to see
you make someone else miserable,

48
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,799
I know a real estate agent
that could help you two

49
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,034
find a new space.

50
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:53,272
Did you say "real estate Asian"?

51
00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:56,375
Her name is Evie,
and I know her from my church.

52
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,144
And let's just say she's been angling

53
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,847
for what I've got dangling.

54
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,886
Your keys?

55
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:11,190
She likes me, you shrews!

56
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,625
Okay,
well that's what we get for being nice.

57
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,127
So back to the dessert bar,

58
00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:17,429
did you get the pictures I
sent you of those cool stools?

59
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:20,032
I saw the subject heading was
"cool stools,"

60
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:23,735
and I thought you finally
shattered our last boundary.

61
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:26,371
Here, give me your phone.

62
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,673
I can't find the stools.

63
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,008
Oh, my God!

64
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,543
I can't believe what I'm seeing.

65
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,845
Is it that dog driving?

66
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,647
No, why do you still have a picture

67
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,549
of your ex-boyfriend on your phone?

68
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,118
You swiped on my phone?

69
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,054
What if I had something
embarrassing in there?

70
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:45,057
Like a tasteful hoo-ha shot?

71
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,693
Why do you still have a
picture of Randy on your phone?

72
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:51,163
The guy who broke up with you
in L.A. using a therapist?

73
00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:53,865
This bespeaks of an unresolved longing.

74
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,802
Be-stop be-talking right now.

75
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,972
I am gonna delete them,
I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

76
00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:02,174
Like being nice to people.

77
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:06,812
Oh, my God, this is too weird.

78
00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,680
- What?
- It's Randy.

79
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:09,915
Does Max work here?

80
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:12,584
This smells like the
place she described.

81
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,988
That smell's how I find
my way to work every day.

82
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,593
What is he doing here?
I don't want to see him.

83
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,663
Then don't turn around,
'cause he's right behind you.

84
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,832
Max?

85
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,034
Hey.

86
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,904
Good to see you.

87
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:35,741
You're not gonna turn around?

88
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:38,543
No, I'm good.

89
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:41,413
You're not gonna turn
around for that guy?

90
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:44,283
I mean,
I would turn around for that guy.

91
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,919
See on the board you have some specials.

92
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:51,123
I guess I'll have the sloppy...job?

93
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:54,993
It's "joe."

94
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,562
Sometimes my "E"s look like "B"s.

95
00:04:57,564 --> 00:05:01,066
Clearly, I need to start writing
the specials on the board.

96
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:06,305
You know what,
just give me the meat...load?

97
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:10,042
That one, sadly, is spelled right.

98
00:05:10,044 --> 00:05:11,877
Randy, what are you doing here?

99
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,112
Lawyer stuff.
I'm in town for the weekend.

100
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,114
My client, Tony Bennett,
is suing Lady Gaga

101
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,817
for making him uncool.

102
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,687
And I thought I'd come by and
see if Max wanted to see me.

103
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:25,090
I guess I also wouldn't
mind a cup of hot caca.

104
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:29,594
Max... you're not gonna turn around?

105
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,999
Okay. Guess I better go.

106
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,767
Well, bye.

107
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:36,968
Bye.

108
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:45,610
Damn it!

109
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:49,247
Fell for the ol'
Scooby Doo fake footsteps.

110
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,985
- How are you?
- I'm great.

111
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,320
Never been greater.

112
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:56,822
Max, I need someone to clean up

113
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,024
the baby-changing station in the ladies'
room.

114
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:02,227
- We don't have one.
- We do now.

115
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:07,199
I guess I better let
you get back to work.

116
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,502
If you want to see me, give me a call.

117
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,805
Tony has dinner and
goes to bed around 3:30.

118
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,511
Randy thinks he can just
show up with his face

119
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:22,514
and his body and his
muscular-but-not-too-thick neck

120
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,750
and think I'm gonna
forget that he dumped me?

121
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,418
Max, don't say "dumped."

122
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,254
Say "kicked to the curb." It's kinder.

123
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:32,557
Oh, Max,
we have an unattended package situation.

124
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:36,528
Not unlike that homeless guy
we just passed on the stoop.

125
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,797
Wow, that's the biggest box I've seen

126
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:42,968
since I accidentally clicked on a "big,
beautiful women" porn.

127
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,036
It stops being an "accident"

128
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,671
when you wake me up by yelling,

129
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:49,608
"Hey, check out this 'big,
beautiful women' porn!"

130
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,942
Well, this is exciting.

131
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,377
I haven't had a surprise delivery

132
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:54,780
since that baby I felt
was just Chipolte.

133
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,352
Max, that never really happened, right?

134
00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:03,622
Whatever makes you sleep sounder,
sweetheart.

135
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,357
Never happened.

136
00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:08,427
Oh, good God!
It's three kinds of popcorn!

137
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:10,829
And all kinds of disappointment.

138
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,264
Crazy?

139
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,999
You've got your standard butter,

140
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,234
you got your sweet, sweet caramel,

141
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:19,137
and finally,
the popcorn that needs no introduction,

142
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:21,173
cheese!

143
00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:23,942
Cheese-us, that's good.

144
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,410
It's from Randy.

145
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:27,979
"I know it's corny, but I miss you.

146
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,381
Love, Randy."

147
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:32,818
Oh, great, so he's a great writer too?

148
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,686
Why am I mad at him again?

149
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,521
All right,
he obviously knows your sweet spot

150
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,290
is the grocery aisle at Rite Aid,

151
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:41,560
but I am not gonna let junk
food cloud your judgment again.

152
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:44,896
Like that time you donated blood
for a chocolate chip cookie.

153
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:48,099
Hey, I also got orange juice.

154
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,373
Hey, girls.

155
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:59,010
Max,
this was delivered upstairs for you.

156
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:00,779
Uh, sorry about the bite marks,

157
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:04,182
but the baby a whiff of
the pimento loaf and said,

158
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:07,686
"Oh, I just got to have it."

159
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,688
"I know I was a jerky,

160
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,324
so let me say sorry with salami."

161
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,159
What, does Randy have,
like, a team of writers

162
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,393
working on these things?

163
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,561
Randy?

164
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:19,764
You mean that hot guy
with the muscular neck?

165
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:21,800
Muscular, but not too thick.

166
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,134
Yeah!

167
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,136
He's trying to win you back with salamis

168
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:27,439
and delicious biscotti?

169
00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:29,608
There's no biscotti in here.

170
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,343
Oh, yeah, well...

171
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:34,412
the baby needed something sweet.

172
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:36,681
Oh, my gosh.

173
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,617
The baby just kicked.

174
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:39,518
Oh!

175
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,687
Oh, that brings me so much joy.

176
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:45,423
It did it again!

177
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,458
Oh!

178
00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:47,659
My gosh.

179
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:51,563
Hey, I think it's following the salami!

180
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,905
Thank you so much for showing
us the space today, Evie.

181
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,907
I'm sure Max will be here any minute.

182
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,842
It's hard for her to be on time.

183
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:07,178
Or sober for more than an hour.

184
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,881
Well,
the pros are the location and the price.

185
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,484
And the cons are the
11 people I'm guessing

186
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:14,886
have died in here.

187
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:18,590
It is a little small,
but people like small.

188
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:22,327
I know I do.

189
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:26,231
And I know I am very curious
about the natural light in here.

190
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,166
And I can make anything pretty.

191
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,235
Just ask Suda Mahmoosh from high school.

192
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:34,506
Everyone called her Bert till
I worked my tweezer magic.

193
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:37,175
Well, you have to act now,
because there are three other

194
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,644
very attractive offers on the table.

195
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:42,847
And one wants to take me on a cruise.

196
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:45,684
What did I tell you?

197
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:49,254
She's undressing me with her eyes.

198
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:52,991
Well,
I'm buttoning you back up with mine.

199
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,760
Oh, I have to take this.

200
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:56,962
And Han?

201
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,169
What did she say to you in Korean?

202
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,971
'Cause she was coming at you hard.

203
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:09,574
That she wants me to come at her hard.

204
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,176
Well, what's the problem, Han?

205
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:13,111
I mean, she's cute and she likes you,

206
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,746
and it's not your job to ask why.

207
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,648
That's mine and Max's.

208
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:20,118
The problem is that she's from
a very conservative family,

209
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,021
and she wants to be a virgin
when she gets married.

210
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:26,458
A two-virgin marriage.

211
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:27,459
That's cute.

212
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:30,862
Or is it too matchy-matchy?

213
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:35,033
No, no,
she wants to have sex before marriage.

214
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,636
I'm confused... she wants be a virgin,

215
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:40,739
but she wants to have sex?

216
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,174
Oh!

217
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:46,911
Like an "everything but" situation.

218
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,613
So to speak.

219
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:53,051
She's found a loophole,
and it rhymes with loophole.

220
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,791
What?

221
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,260
Below the waist, she's like a mullet...

222
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:05,463
business in the front,
party in the back.

223
00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:10,402
- Still nothing?
- Yeah, I got it!

224
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:13,104
I just don't want to talk about it.

225
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:16,641
This is a conversation you
need to have with a man.

226
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:19,344
And when Max gets here,

227
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,813
I'm sure she'll make fun of you

228
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,348
and then tell you what to do.

229
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,984
I'm sorry, Caroline.
The space just got rented.

230
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:28,853
Spaces don't stay empty
for long around here.

231
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,156
Han, can you walk me to my car?

232
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:34,359
I need help putting
something in my trunk.

233
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:41,633
I'm right behind you!

234
00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:44,502
I mean...

235
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:48,773
Where are Mickey and Minnie Mouse going?

236
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:50,141
Max, where were you?

237
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,576
You're late, we lost the space,

238
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:54,179
and I had to learn that
our real estate agent

239
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:57,882
wants to have sex with Han,
but remain a...

240
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:01,820
front virgin.

241
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,621
Please understand me.

242
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:07,726
Oh,
she's working the ol' loophole argument?

243
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,993
What, you never heard of that?

244
00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:11,896
The girls at St. Bridget's invented it.

245
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,965
I can't take any more of this!

246
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:17,035
That's what they said!

247
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:20,038
But then they did.

248
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:25,510
Shouldn't you be coming
in through the back door?

249
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,950
I got to say, Max, I'm really surprised

250
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,651
you didn't cave in and see Randy.

251
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:38,189
You're showing more
backbone than a supermodel.

252
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,191
Yup, I'm not gonna see Randy!

253
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,094
I'm not seeing Randy at all!

254
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:46,264
Okay, and they say I'm the loud one.

255
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,567
Get out of here, Caroline!

256
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,836
Who I am talking to.

257
00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:53,505
Uh, can you go outside

258
00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:55,440
and bring me something from outside?

259
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,175
- Like what?
- Oh, I don't know.

260
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,177
A souvenir from Coney Island.

261
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:02,814
An old woman's hat from Manhattan.

262
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,916
Okay, sure. Outside stuff, got it.

263
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,285
Thanks. Take your time.

264
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,588
What are you still doing here?

265
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,857
You said you were just gonna
take as shower and leave.

266
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:14,459
I was waiting for the water to get hot.

267
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:17,095
Took four hours!

268
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,197
You have to go before
Caroline gets back.

269
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:21,032
Wow, I haven't snuck out of an apartment

270
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:24,502
since I helped my friend
escape Scientology.

271
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:27,505
Well, she's back.
And you two are busted.

272
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,706
I knew he was in here.

273
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,341
I saw his 12-pack in my phone

274
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:33,678
when I was taking a couch selfie.

275
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,513
And you let him use my towel?

276
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:40,185
It's also my sheet/dress
for summer weddings.

277
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,452
Okay, you know what?

278
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:42,821
I'm gonna get out of your dress

279
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:46,057
and give you two a minute.

280
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:48,626
I can't believe you had sex with Randy.

281
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:49,894
More than just sex!

282
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:51,329
Stay out of this!

283
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,897
You said you were gonna mull it over.

284
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:54,399
Weigh the pros and cons.

285
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:56,000
You know, before you came here,

286
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,603
I used to date pros and cons.

287
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,872
I'm not used to thinking about stuff

288
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,508
and making sound judgments.

289
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:07,645
I just found out last year there
are instructions on medicine.

290
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:10,381
Well,
I'm sorry if I want what's best for you.

291
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,016
Just throwing this out there...

292
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,551
got a great job, nice house,

293
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:17,856
full-fledged AAA member since 1998.

294
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:20,158
Please, this is between me and Max.

295
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,994
We have to figure out
what to do about you two.

296
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:27,131
Well, I-I like him,
but I don't want to get hurt again.

297
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:30,068
See? Those are pros and cons.

298
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,136
This is exciting.

299
00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:33,738
What's going on out there?

300
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,341
'Cause it kind of sounds
like I'm on trial.

301
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,309
You know what? This is a big decision.

302
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,678
Maybe we should all just sleep on it.

303
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,915
Isn't sleeping on it what got me
in trouble in the first place?

304
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,889
I thought of another pro for Randy.

305
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:55,560
He looks like a man from
the front and from the back.

306
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,596
Very rare in these times.

307
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,632
Okay, I'll put it on the list.

308
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:04,569
Oh, no, this is my list
of reasons to stay alive.

309
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,304
You should know I'm down to one.

310
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,106
Oh.

311
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:11,709
Evie found a small place in
Brooklyn she wants you to see.

312
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:14,345
As for the small place
she wants me to see,

313
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,547
I haven't decided.

314
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,750
Caroline,
let's get some pros and cons going

315
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:21,152
for Han taking the A-train.

316
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:25,089
I mean, this is the closest
to a vagina that any of us

317
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,125
ever thought you'd be.

318
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:30,695
So if I decide to pass,
you won't think less of me?

319
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,498
Han, that would be impossible.

320
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:38,736
Hey, everybody.

321
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:41,639
You know, you get a seat on
the subway if you're pregnant

322
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,909
and willing to sit on
an old person's lap.

323
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:48,713
Sophie, what's a seven-letter
word for...oh, hell.

324
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:51,983
Three years is too long
to spend on one crossword.

325
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,653
According to my mom,
it's too long to spend

326
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,655
in third grade too.

327
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,757
Carol, come to my booth.

328
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:01,626
I think my baby's gonna kick again.

329
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,394
Uh, Sophie, we're kind of working.

330
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,596
Oh, you got a job?

331
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,134
Hey, there.

332
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,270
I'm, uh, here for Max.

333
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,205
Oh, and 14 across?

334
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:15,506
Papaya.

335
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:18,209
Damn! I'm back in!

336
00:16:19,713 --> 00:16:22,246
Randy, we actually haven't
come to a decision yet.

337
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:23,781
Well, I want my day in court.

338
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:26,584
Oh, you could have mine. It's the third.

339
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,052
As you know, I'm a lawyer.

340
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:30,021
And I usually don't
practice in a courtroom

341
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:33,024
that serves something called pork chip.

342
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,792
But if I'm gonna be on trial here,

343
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,828
- I'm gonna make my case.
- Okay, but let me just say...

344
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,363
Do you want the list of pros and cons?

345
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:39,697
I got this.

346
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,532
I need to make sure that I can trust you

347
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,334
with my best friend's heart again.

348
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:47,805
Oh, my God, that was pure <i>Good Wife.</i>

349
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,974
Max, go have a seat in Sophie's booth.

350
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:54,212
That's fine,
but I'm getting some of that pork chip.

351
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,446
It's good, baby.

352
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:58,149
It comes with a side of ass potatoes.

353
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:02,387
Randy.

354
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:05,523
You live in L.A. Max lives in New York.

355
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,493
Did you or did you not say you're bad

356
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,328
at long-distance relationships?

357
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:11,529
I did.

358
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,398
And did you or did you not say

359
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,733
that you're just in
town for the weekend?

360
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:17,602
Well, I did say that...

361
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:19,103
Ma'am, do you or do you not see me

362
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:23,307
conducting a mock trial up in here?

363
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:26,144
Randy, did you or did you not

364
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:30,648
break up with Max using
a therapist because...

365
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:34,852
you couldn't do it yourself?

366
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:38,056
- Well, I...
- Answer the question!

367
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,023
Yes.

368
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:42,727
Caroline, girl, you are good.

369
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,695
Where were you when I got arrested

370
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:48,900
for being black in Tacoma?

371
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:51,502
You're living in L.A.,
Max is living in New York,

372
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,870
and you're both living in denial

373
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,806
if you think a relationship can work.

374
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:58,009
May I approach the booth
and mount my defense?

375
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:03,881
You mounted the defense
three times yesterday.

376
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,617
Objection! Kissing the witness!

377
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,986
What the hell is going on out here?

378
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:13,057
They are putting that white
Billy Dee Williams on trial.

379
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:19,397
You're right, I did hurt her.

380
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:22,400
Breaking up with her using a
therapist was a bad decision.

381
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,870
Breaking up with her at
all was a bad decision.

382
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:27,772
And why should she trust
me if I'm just gonna

383
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,774
blow into town for
the weekend and leave?

384
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,343
Well, for a lawyer, you're not making

385
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,178
a great case for yourself.

386
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,413
Yeah.

387
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:37,748
I mean, if I were you, I'd just

388
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:40,284
take my shirt off right now.

389
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:44,255
And the truth is...

390
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,890
I'm not here on business.

391
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:48,126
Tony Bennett isn't suing Lady Gaga.

392
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:51,963
Although he should.
I'm just not involved.

393
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:56,901
I came to New York for
the weekend to see Max.

394
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,736
And she's the reason I'm gonna stay

395
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,738
in New York for a month

396
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,774
to see if we can make this work.

397
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:06,978
I think that should count as two pros.

398
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:12,750
You're really gonna stay here for me?

399
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,952
I couldn't stop thinking about you.

400
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:19,190
I didn't even delete
your photos off my phone.

401
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,526
Well, that's pathetic.

402
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:28,065
So I think I found the perfect
space for your dessert bar.

403
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,301
It's got to be better than
the other holes you showed us.

404
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,303
Well, it's in the trendiest
part of Williamsburg,

405
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:35,573
cheap,
and the landlord is a really nice guy.

406
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,208
It's so close to the diner.

407
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,443
Won't it be weird if we run into Han?

408
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:41,546
And not with a car?

409
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,548
Okay. This is it.

410
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,416
Hello!

411
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:48,786
Oh, no, I hate puppet shows.

412
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:51,589
Evie, this isn't available,
it's a cupcake shop.

413
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:54,458
Unless those two girls finally gave up.

414
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,527
I've decided to let you expand.

415
00:19:56,529 --> 00:20:01,399
Evie convinced me to do things
outside my comfort zone.

416
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:04,335
- Yes, I did.
- How 'bout that, Caroline?

417
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:08,072
We're not the only ones she
showed a dingy, dark hole to.

418
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:10,274
Get your minds out of the gutter.

419
00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:12,210
She took me to hot yoga.

420
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,645
He vomited two "oms" in.

421
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,514
But at least he tried.

422
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,616
So who knows what's next?

423
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,885
Well, I've never had lobster.

424
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,320
Han, are you sure about this?

425
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,388
You'll let us build
our dessert bar here?

426
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,725
I'm sure I'll regret
it almost immediately.

427
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,694
Han, I would hug you right now,

428
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:32,663
but the cons outweigh the pros.

429
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,565
This is gonna be the coolest bar!

430
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,435
We just have to get rid of that.

431
00:20:37,485 --> 00:20:42,035
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